How many of the following have you done?
1. Uploaded picture of child as your profile pic.
Yeah I know what the cropping suggests, but no really, this is ‘Daisy Coles’
2. Uploaded picture of sleeping child (actually) on chest of sleeping daddy (pretending).
Miss Bee and her Apa, just home from the hospital
3. Uploaded picture of child wearing clothes given from a relative or friend (who is usually childless; therefore clothing is completely impractical) and tagged photo with their name, ostensibly to thank them but actually to elicit gushing torrents of comment-box adoration.
Are you saying ‘aaw’? Are you? Are you??
4. Posted status update crowing of a milestone the precocious developmental significance of which is probably meaningful only to you (‘Reaching towards a toy!’ ‘OMG we are crawling!!’ ‘Just told me there were poos in her nappy!!’)
5. Posted status update lamenting the speed at which babies grow up.
‘Could this pic GET any cuter?? You guuuys!!’
7. Posted status update to the effect ‘Finally squeezed in to my pre-baby jeans! Yay!!’
8. Commented on a friend’s picture of their kid with ‘OMG you have to stop posting these pics! Too. Much. Cuteness!!’
9. Been unable to refrain from Liking any picture of anyone’s kid, anywhere, no matter how tenuous the ‘friendship’: the younger the baby, the more likely you’ll Like it.
10. Posted status update speaking ‘to’ your own child, who is at least four years away from being able to read and at least ten years away (Please, God) from opening a Facebook account: ‘Happy birthday my darling girl!’
*****
Me? Guilty as charged on all ten counts, your honour. I am but a product of my times.
Daisy
Love this, Daisy! Very entertaining!