As reported by the Age two days ago, an Australian woman has recently given birth to quintuplets, conceived naturally.
Sadly, only four of the babies survived (they were born prematurely, and each weighed less than a kilo), although quintuplets are far from unprecedented. Last year, also in Australia, a Brisbane couple brought five healthy babies into the world (what is it about the place? Do you ever get the impression everything is just bigger, badder, more fertile there?)
This woman deserves a pre-emptive knighthood (I hate the word ‘damehood’). Or maybe not so pre-emptive? She already has 12 children (she’s 48 years old).
Imagine it. Not just double, not just triple, not even quadruple, but quintuple (I’m not even sure about the pronunciation there) the crappy nappies.
Quintuple the Hairy McLary readings on request.
Quintuple the amount of time spent looking for the lids of sippy cups.
Quintuple the types of situations we had on our hands yesterday, when Maja found the bottle of fabric softener to which I’d inexpertly replaced the lid, expertly unscrewed it, and applied a generous handful to her face like moisturiser (‘mois-chizer’, she calls it). She still smells like Coccolino.
Quintuple. The. Night-wakings. AAAAAAAAaaaaaaargh!! *runs screaming from the room in abject terror*