(With apologies to the Ahlbergs … I actually really love Peepo – it might actually be the best book for toddlers, ever.)
PEEPO!
She sees her father stumbling
Towards the coffee machine
And some coffee cups waiting
That aren’t quite clean
She sees the last night’s dishes
On the bench, unrinsed and scummy
And a frizzy-haired old woman
Who is really just her mummy
…
Here’s a little baby
One, two, three
Sits on the grass
What does she see?
Nope, not that – that’s the fictional view from the grass.
PEEPO!
She sees the weedy garden
Teddies left outside
And some bird shit on the washing
That the sun has nicely dried
She sees her father cursing
At the mower, looking bitter
And her mother inside ‘working’
But it looks like Twitter
PEEPO!
She sees her purple potty
On the floor there, full of wees
And a teddy soaking in it
To his little furry knees
She sees the power and phone bills
That she’s nicely coloured in
Cookpots unattended
Her parents skulling gin
…
Here’s a little baby
One, two, three
Lies down in her sleep-sack
What does she see?
Fictional mummy needs gin too.
She sees her mummy enter
With a cold cup of tea
Making sure she’s got her teddy
Who just slightly smells like wee
She hears her daddy begging
For her NOW to shut her eyes
Her mummy darkly mumbling
About Ferber: ‘Let her cry!’
Paging Dr Ferber.
Here’s a little baby
One, two, three
Fast asleep and dreaming
Ha! … in mummy’s fantasy.
Daisy
You are awesome Madam Daisy. I am in perpetual awe of you. xx
love love love love love it!!! HAHAHAHA… just made my day… we too read this every night to our boo, but i will never look at it the same again
Hey Hey….needed updating! Yes Gin is definitely what fictional mummy needs.